{Vemödalen} Tomb Raider & Ready Player One

director: Roar Uthaug

writers: Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Alastair Siddons, Evan Daugherty

cast: Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins, Daniel Wu, Kristin Scott Thomas, Derek Jacobi, Alexandre Willaume

I've never played a Tomb Raider game. Not on the PC or any gaming console. The only time I've ever seen the game being played was while watching the show Wire in the Blood. My only experience with Tomb Raider has been the Angelina Jolie movies (which I still enjoy because they are campy and fun and I like Jolie) and being in a dark room filled with dudes at E3 in 2012 for a "demo" of the game that was not gameplay (as I recall) and just a very uncomfortable attempted rape/rapey sequence of events that fired off my PTSD from being raped and sexual assaulted as a kid. So, that was fun.

That being said, I really didn't have any expectation of this movie. Nor did I really want to see it, but my family kinda made me because I'm not exactly "social" lately. Sometimes, it's really just easier to do what your mom wants you to do, even if you're a grown ass adult.

The movie wasn't that bad. It definitely wasn't as fun as the Jolie movies, for me. It really reminded me way too much of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and not in a homage kind of way. There was just something about it that didn't really do anything for me as a movie.

director: Steven Spielberg

writers: Zak Penn, Ernest Cline

cast: Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, Lena Waithe, TJ Miller, Simon Pegg, Mark Rylance, Philip Zhao, Win Morisake

I tried reading this book before the car wreck. I never finished it because I hated it, which is something that's never happened to me (pre car wreck). I got suckered into seeing this one just like Tomb Raider. Unlike Tomb Raider, this one was slightly more entertaining. Probably because I understood all the references. And the madball. Holy shit, I can't believe they had a madball in this movie. The glaive from Krull was in this movie. WTF.

Honestly, though, I will never watch this movie again. Unless it's on HBO and I can't sleep and my wi-fi isn't working well enough to stream Raiders of the Lost Art on Netflix or Predator from my Xbox account. Same as with Tomb Raider, there was just something about this movie that didn't do a thing for me as a viewer. The Principle of Hollywood (Spielberg) is still a good director and knows how to put a movie together and all, but even with all the childhood nostalgia for me that this movie had, I just didn't feel anything for any of the characters or the motives of the movie.

Here's hoping the next movie I go see isn't just a reason to go someplace that has giant pretzels I can eat on for an hour.